Should’ve Turned Back… Maybe

I’m finding that even though I embrace the seasons these day, I also am subject to their rules.  With the ever waning Indian Summer still in effect, I continue to count each sunny day as a blessing, while feeling I’m getting away with murder.  Stealing one back from the ole grim reaper actually.  Oddly though, I found myself in a bit of a funk that lasted for over a week and I’m sure may resurface upon returning from my trip to Moab this week.  I truly experience tinges of depression at this time of year.  It kind of feels humiliating saying that, but I think it might actually be true.  Normally I’m quite capable of waking up and feeling positive and hopeful about the day that is about to unfold.  But suddenly every fall (I’m just now picking up on this, which may be why I used to dislike fall- ’cause it sucks to not feel normal) I’m starting to notice I go through a bit of lackluster ambition and narrow sightedness.  It’s an interesting situation because I get the feeling I’m not behind the controls and it’s not anything I can just snap my fingers and change, I just kind of have to wait it out.  Thankfully, acknowledging it allowed some time to meditate and find acceptance while moving on.

*** Note, I forgot to finish and post this over 3 weeks ago.  My predictions were right!  The tinge of depression has lifted and I have shifted into contentment with the end of summer and the beginning of winters cold embrace!

**** Turning back maybe refers to a slightly epic day Jen and I squeezed in the park where I managed to push myself up to the summit of Mt. Gould through a face covered in slushy wet snow that created a waterfall effect over Class 3 scrambling while also finding waist deep chimneys of snow I post holed up in running shorts to find a summit that was eerie and amazing.  The sensation of plucking one more romp into the alpine before true winter sets in was awesome.  I felt as though I had the park to myself, and I was no longer in the U.S. but more like Kyrgyzstan or some remote wild place.   I should’ve turned back most likely because I left Jen waiting down at Haystack saddle fretting over whether I was gonna get hurt or something while the waning sun rays heightened the urgency.  But, it sure was an awesome adventure!